I was raised this way and look how i turned out…
My way is better, yours will not work!

Cultural differences rearing it’s ugly head.

I have never ever been seriously/romantically involved with anyone raised in the same culture as I. Apart from J, I’ve only had 3 other serious boyfriends/near-marriage (had it progressed into the next level, it would be in the same breath as near-death!) experience and all of them were with non-Filipinos. Non-Asians, even. I’ve had years of experience. Inter-cultural relationship should be my thing. I should be good at this, right? Wrong!

My marriage is, mainly, based on our cultural differences in every sense of the word. We revel in our differences and eagerly learn more about the other. It seems more challenging since it involves adjustment between two people from different ethnic, religious, socio-political backgrounds. BUT, with these challenges comes countless arguments and misunderstandings brought about by exactly the same factors that makes it interesting.

In my opinion, this kind of relationship requires more patience and understanding. But, it is workable. J and I have found a way to go around it. If one of us starts to react negatively, the puzzled party (why the heck are you angry now?! kind of reaction) should act like he/she is waving a flag. This “white flag” gives the other a chance to explain further while the other tries to breathe deeply and understand more. It works. It got rid of most of our OA dramas. Most, not all.

Our marriage is still a work in progress. We are creating our own culture by compromising or deciding which one works for us. Both of us are consciously trying to be more open so our relationship will continue to flourish and grow. And just like any other marriages, not just interracial ones, we both just need to work harder and put in more effort.

Now showing
AnP vs. J
Culture Clash: JP’s University education IV