Once, an American expat commented that I was too much into the German culture. That the solution to all my I-hate-German-life woes was to exclusively hang out with fellow expats. But, that would be wrong. It would feel like I would be pretending to be somewhere else. Bashing the locals, one of the favorite past-time of expats, would definitely thwart my attempts of trying to understand my adoptive land and culture.

I have been tackling the situation wrong. Years of living in Germany and I chose to let the memories of life in Manila colour what my future in Frankfurt should be. I let these dictate how my attitude towards the life that I have been living should continue. In doing so, I failed to fully appreciate the things that the future had to offer.

I guess I was afraid that embracing a new culture would mean forgetting my own. But, that isn’t how it works. I will always be Filipino. But for my child who is also part-German, I would have to start living in the present and not in the past.

Yes, even if my (immediate) future lies in a country thousands of miles away from my real home.

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I have been feeling bouts of homesickness the past few days (hence, above blog) because…

I remember feeling very happy and complete. Something which I feel only when I am with my husband, son, siblings and parents. We just arrived and I was planning the next 3 weeks with my brother. I just remember that part when I woke up the other day.

A very cruel dream to have on a sunny day thousands of miles away from home.

TAGALOG PHRASE OF THE DAY:
“Bakit ako?!” - a way to show exasperation when life is being unfair;
in German, could be: “Ich habe immer die Arschlochkarte!”