I usually don’t really like doing memes but I like what Rico tagged me with. Rather than gripe about what is wrong with the country (God knows many have already done that!), I love the idea of spreading the word about what makes us feel great to be Filipino.

Here are a few examples of what makes me say “It Feels Great to be Pinoy (abroad)”:

Despite other nation’s oversimplified (not to mention distorted) image of how Pinoys really are, many Filipinos abroad are still proving them wrong. Sometimes, we get offended but you know what, we should feel satisfaction instead. We should feel proud that we can actually tell those who have the wrong image of Pinoys in their heads that they are, well, wrong. We may not be from the first world and we may not have had the same advantages that they have enjoyed their whole lives but, hey, despite the odds, we can still excel in so many ways.

We can easily adapt and assimilate. It’s the positive result of pakikisama, imo. I have seen how other immigrants are received by the locals in other countries. And well, Pinoys are never really singled out and hated because we know how to adjust to whatever situation we find ourselves in. We know when to conform to our adoptive county’s customs. Let’s just hope that none of us lose our Filipino soul in the process.

We are full of hope. Sure, we may whine along the way but most of us do not lose hope. You see it in the eyes of the poor people back home as they work hard to earn a living. No matter what condition they may find themselves in, they still can afford to smile and laugh. IMO, it’s not because Filipinos are so lackadaisical and could care less about their futures. It’s because despite the odds, pinoys are still hopeful that something better will come soon. Hence, the smiles, laughters and prayers. It’s hope.

There are many more reasons why we should feel great about our country, culture and people. Let’s all spread the word and encourage other Pinoys to feel proud of our heritage.

I have been out every single day since I returned from my month-long Pinas vacation. It’s my way of eluding depression because, like every single time I go home, it definitely is NOT good to be back here.

So, how was our vacation? Great, as usual. The fact that it was an all-expenses paid trip (thanks LoloA) for all of us (except for J’s brother who had to pay for his own flight to Pinas) made this particular trip even greater.

My family hosted all 7 of us during our whole stay. Our bed sheets and towels were changed regularly. Even our curtains were changed, to match the bed sheets. Our dirty clothes mysteriously reappear cleaned a day later. It was like staying in a hotel, only better.

We had a fantastic time touring around our 2 adult Pinas-virgins (my sister’s long-time boyfriend and J’s brother). The whole Atienza family joined in all the activities. It was like seeing Manila, Tagatay, Cocobeach and Boracay with new eyes.

During our stay, BabyM was also baptized at my parents’ local parish. We originally planned a big party but we had to change our plans into a family-only affair. BabyM and I had bronco-pneumonia and the frequent visits to Cardinal Santos did not give us enough time to plan the party. So I ended up uninviting friends. Sayang.

In Manila…

• we drove all the way to UP Diliman because L (J’s brother) wanted to ride a jeepney. We parked at the Bahay ng Alumni (where my old office UP-CIDS is located), ate at Chocolate Kiss and rode a UP-Ikot jeep. Yup, with both kids in tow.
• After our jeep tour, we drove to Greenbelt. The heat made JP take his clothes off and play in the fountain. We relaxed and had the strong wind dry off our sweat by sitting al fresco at the Ayala Museum Cafe. We ended the day by stuffing our faces at Circles in Makati Shangri-la.
• We also toured around Binondo. Unfortunately, we had to cut our walking tour short because of the smell of the bubbling estero which almost made J throw up.
• We braved the heat and went around Fort Santiago.
• We also did the standard Manila baywalk tour. We even waited for the sunset at Cafe Adriatico by the bay.

In Tagaytay, we didn’t stay like we usually do because L only had 10 days in Manila. So, we just made a quick tour around.

• we ate at Leslie’s to show the “volcano within a lake within a volcano…” to L. Unlike J’s experience, we didn’t ride a banca to go to the island itself.
• we also drove up to the dilapidated Palace in the Sky
• we showed L the much-hyped property back in the 90s, Canyon Woods.

We were so excited about Boracay that we looked ready for the beach even at the domestic airport. My brother rented the beachfront house of Whitehouse in the much quieter, cleaner and finder sanded area of Station 1. We went island hopping, picnicked at the other side of the island, rode a speed boat, went jet skiing for 30 minutes each, had calorific cakes at Lemon Cafe, hanged out at the Cabana, ate a lot and just enjoyed being together.

There are actually more stories (food, people I met and shopping) but I’ll save those for later.

For more photos, check out the following flickr photo sets: Boracay, Manila, Tagaytay and babyM’s baptism.

I have worked almost non-stop since I arrived in Germany. A week after I was expatriated here, I immediately started working. I have changed employers twice since then, with only 1-2 weeks off between jobs. The longest I was off from work was when I took 7 months off after I gave birth, with 3 ½ months paid in full (net salary).

Based on my first-hand experiences, I can say that the German mindset is NOT really kind to Working Mothers. No wonder, in comparison to the rest of European women, there are fewer working German women.

Here, you get the impression that being a mother and having a career is mutually exclusive. And some mothers even let psychological pressure dictate their decision about combining motherhood and career.

I have defied the Rabenmütter prejudice. And the only way I will change my mind is when there are foreseeable problems, which only my own husband and I could judge. I would not let anyone outside our family unit (whose advise will anyway be based only on a few hours of being with us and on experiences different from ours) make me doubt my decisions ever again.

Happy am I for being blessed with a husband who belongs to the minority (20%, says Bamberg Institute for Family Studies) of German fathers who are willing to have significant participation in raising their children. Heck, J is even planning on taking parental leave once Maximillian is born and share the temporary stay-at-home parenting with me. Fortunately, traditional gender roles are not in his mindset.

The lack of day-care facilities that do accept children under the age of 3 is yet another factor. Obviously, if you cannot find a good place for your child, you have no choice but to stay home.

My family got lucky with this. Albeit on the expensive side, we are still lucky to have been given access to excellent child-care (bilingual, even) facilities. Honestly, if we weren’t so lucky, I would not have been so confident with my decision of being a working mom.

Benefits and taxes seem generous but, believe me, they aren’t.

Yes, we are allowed to take 3 years of maternity leave. However, only 3 ½ months are paid.

Each child is entitled to receive until they are 18 allowances (kindergeld) of 154€ per month. Considering the cost of child-care facilities and everything else, that isn’t really much. In addition, you cannot really rely on tax-breaks for child-related expenses to count much. So we’re putting JP’s kindergeld on the side for him to use (new flat, car or whatever) when he turns 18.

Low birth-rate and lack of qualified people in the work force now plagues Germany. With the median age rising and the birth rate declining, the German government has finally realized that something needs to be done. They need to make changes so more moms can go out in the work force. The government is crazy with proposals on how this can be achieved. Some of the proposed solutions are laughable, though, imho. Additional tax breaks and financial benefits will not solve the problem. They should think of changing the infrastructure to allow more women to combine parenting and career.

Until that happens, I will continue to ignore Rabenmütter innuendos and solve problems as we (my husband and I) see fit.

“Life as an expatriate is difficult. Despite the perks of life in the first world, it still does not take away the pains of moving away from the safety net of family and friends.

When I first moved, I remember longing for the familiar and looking for people who could make me feel like I belong. And when I couldn’t find those locally, I sought and found solace in the world wide web. Not only did the internet make it easier to keep in touch with the people I have left behind, it also gave me the company I sought and needed. I found people who could empathize and sympathize with me – fellow homesick Filipino expatriates.

Through PINOYexpats, I would like to offer homesick Filipinos, a virtual place where they could feel like they belong and where the familiar can be found. A source of support from those who have been there and have done that. A proof that, eventually, it does get better.”

It has been a year since that editorial was published online. And tomorrow, marks the biggest milestone for us… PINOYexpats‘ first anniversary issue will be launched!

The plan for an ezine was hatched in February 2004. Even without anything tangible to show, Ruth and Pia immediately offered their support by committing their “services” to the ezine. Junnie, during a ym conversation, gave valuable advices which helped shape the idea. Elen’s nod completed the inital team.

Finally, in July 2004, the domain pinoyexpats.org was registered. Armed with a kick-ass masthead from dear Cyn, we had our soft launch early October. Thank God, Kala saw that the ezine needed help design-wise and offered her (and Julien’s) help. Those two re-designed the whole site in less than a week; complimenting our kick-ass masthead with an equally impressive layout design (check the new ad she made on my sidebar!)

Pia’s celebrity connections got us our first pinoyexpat of the month.

We’ve expanded by inviting Lara to join us from Belgium. We saw the potential in Charl during her visit to our forums. She was then invited to join the team, as well.

With our readership growing, we conducted a survey to know what we needed to improve. Along with emails we have received from our readers, the survey showed that we needed to expand outside of Europe. So, we did. 2 months ago, Tintin was invited to join and help Pia cover North America. Christine and Kat applied to cover Asia and the Pacific. Raquel, another expat in Germany who was expat of the month (August), was later invited to join the team.

We have covered (real interviews and not second-hand articles) celebrities from various fields. We have a few more who have agreed to grace our future issues. We have modified our format (thanks to our resident designer and programmers - Kala and Julian) to fit our readers’ demands. Our family is getting bigger and we hope to serve you better for more years to come.

Happy Birthday to PINOYexpats!

TAGALOG OF THE DAY
“PINOY” - Filipino
in German, “Philippinisch”

Here at F, the line between work and private life is not clearly delineated. People from all around are bringing in different work cultures and it can really get confusing.

I (we) have to consider the hierarchial culture of the Japanese, the formal Germans, the ueber friendly Spanish and the casual American. And since I am born to assimilate well (naks!), by virtue of the culture I was born into, I become this confused Filipina chameleon at work.

However, when it comes to having social activities outside working hours with these diverse group, it is almost always funny. We get to show our normal, social selves and revel in our differences.

Like last Thursday when our department went out to have some authentic Japanese food. We spent a big part of the evening talking about the differences in how each culture “translate” animal sounds. 3 days after that, I found myself (with J and JP in tow) playing softball for the company; with 32 Japanese companies located in Frankfurt participating in this yearly competition. We played and lost 2 games. Our play was a disaster, compared to all the other companies who had uniforms and practiced/played well. We had fun, nonetheless. And J and I witnessed Japanese social hierarchial behaviour.

Last night, the whole F (2 european companies under 1 japanese holding company) had a beach party at the King Kamehameha Beach Club. Majority of those who attended were German so it was, well, kinda like the normal environment for me.

Too bad, the summer is just about over. There will be a long lull in social activities at work and I would have to continue my desk job and become a confused chameleon once again.

TAGALOG WORD OF THE DAY:
“talo kami” - we lost
in German, “wir haben verloren”

A mesmerized Mama AnP, 26 June 2005

The distinction of growing up with 2 different cultures definitely has it’s advantages. JP has been showing signs of assimilating well.

The fact that I am outnumbered by the influence of his environment, only means that I need to try extra hard. To date, I have been persistent and, IMHO, very successful in reinforcing my cultural values at home.

I will continue to persevere so that my culture (including language) will become part of the value system and culture of my son. JP’s very own mix of Filipino-German.

Acculturation details will be posted later. For now, I have to go back to work.

Pre- Swimming and BBQ Party, 26 June 2005

TAGALOG WORD OF THE DAY:
“dalawang lenguahe” - two (2) languages
in German, “zwei Sprachen”

Once, an American expat commented that I was too much into the German culture. That the solution to all my I-hate-German-life woes was to exclusively hang out with fellow expats. But, that would be wrong. It would feel like I would be pretending to be somewhere else. Bashing the locals, one of the favorite past-time of expats, would definitely thwart my attempts of trying to understand my adoptive land and culture.

I have been tackling the situation wrong. Years of living in Germany and I chose to let the memories of life in Manila colour what my future in Frankfurt should be. I let these dictate how my attitude towards the life that I have been living should continue. In doing so, I failed to fully appreciate the things that the future had to offer.

I guess I was afraid that embracing a new culture would mean forgetting my own. But, that isn’t how it works. I will always be Filipino. But for my child who is also part-German, I would have to start living in the present and not in the past.

Yes, even if my (immediate) future lies in a country thousands of miles away from my real home.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I have been feeling bouts of homesickness the past few days (hence, above blog) because…

I remember feeling very happy and complete. Something which I feel only when I am with my husband, son, siblings and parents. We just arrived and I was planning the next 3 weeks with my brother. I just remember that part when I woke up the other day.

A very cruel dream to have on a sunny day thousands of miles away from home.

TAGALOG PHRASE OF THE DAY:
“Bakit ako?!” - a way to show exasperation when life is being unfair;
in German, could be: “Ich habe immer die Arschlochkarte!”

I could see the disappointment in their eyes. I was not as exotic as they thought I should have been. They were put off because I was as modern as they were, and my English was even better than theirs. They prodded me for more information as if wanting to prove to themselves that I was probably born abroad to explain why I am so “normal”. When I told them that I look like your typical Filipina, they seemed even more disconcerted.

I wonder what they (foreign counterpart in S) expected when they were told that they were going to meet someone from the Philippines. Would I have been more interesting if I spoke gibberish and wore a leaf instead?

I have gone past that stage when incidents like this offends me. They may have dismissed me as, say, an embarassment to my racial stereotype but, at least, I am not like them– Ignorant. With all the resources available to people in the first world, it is a sin to not know more.

Sus naman!

How can one with mediocre skills stand out amidst people who are known all over the world to be highly-skilled, efficient lot?!?

When I look around and observe the people I work with, I am always filled with wonder. What is their secret? What could possibly be wrong with the Filipinos, in comparison? What are the Pinoys doing wrong that stands in the way of all our dreams and goals; no matter how hard Pinoys work, only the very few could enjoy a fair and affluent life.

The more I observe, the more I wonder. Whenever I compare the people back home and the people I currently work with, I see no skills and competence gap. The only gap I see is in the people’s wages (renumeration).

Why?!?

Long before my 5-year work permit in Germany expired, I had it nullified. Instead, I was given a permanent Residence Permit. Because what should have been a short assignment turned into a lifelong commitment, when I married a local. I am convinced that had I stayed single until now, I would have already gone back to Manila.

I have always been moody but it has gotten worse since I moved here. And, for the past weeks, I have not been myself. Drama galore whenever I talk to J. At the rate I am going, I will soon win the Oscars.

5 more years and I am ready to call it quits. If not, I swear, the real AnP will forever be gone. I am slowly morphing into someone I do not recognize anymore. I have stopped caring about a lot of things and my sunny side is being eclipsed by my face that seems to be more ready to give a scowl than a smile.

Staying may be good for my health and my bank, but it is not good for my soul.